Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Emerald City

As Ghosty, Orange, Afro, Anna and Blood Jackel got back to their boat finally after their Journey island shenanigans, they realized something in unison (except for Blood Jackel who was still trying to figure out how exactly to murder a ghost.) They still had no captain to drive the boat. so in fact their entire journey on Journey island was nothing but wasted time.

But before the writer of Why is it Always Sparkplugs was going to make the last chapter into a filler season and put it in the "Deleted Scenes" bin, Blood Jackel realized something.

"Wait you guys need a boat driver? I'm actually the best boat driver of all time. yup-e-do." Blood Jackel said, although in fact he currently held the world record for most killed passengers on single cruise trip. Where Blood Jackel impersonated a good captain so well, no on realized they had been tricked until Blood Jackel didn't go down with the ship. He would simply kill all four of them by drowning them and then let the bodies hit the floor. but before he did this, he would need to figure out how to re-revive Ghosty.

So after they pushed off from shore another eventful cruise took place. (not really).

Afro and Anna hung out on the deck and did couple things, Orange and Afro laid around doing single things and Blood Jackel trudged around doing plotting things.

Sadly there would be no return trip on this boat. Because when it was pulling into Emerald City harbor, Blood Jackel decided if he couldn't kill everyone he could at least try something original, like jumping the cruise boat of a sick jump at full speed.

Meanwhile on the 87th floor of the Universal Music Group sky scraper, Lindsey Lohan was finishing recording her new single (or as the editors like to call it "failure") But overall it was an average day. At least until a full scale cruise boat came through their recently washed windows. the boat cleaved through the building splitting it at the 87th floor. The rest of the 23 floors crashed into the newly created solid gold Dave Grohl commemorative monument with a plaque that said "Never Forget. (How much money he made us.)"

Back on top of the Universal Music Group sky scraper.

"BEST JUMP EVER!" Afro stated.

Just as Afro said that, Xbox live agreed and created then gave Blood Jackel the achievement "You're on a Boat. (On a Building) 20-Real Life Score Unlocked" and Blood Jackel was quite happy with this.

"Right thats nice, but how are we getting down" Orange validly asked a valid question.

"This is a perfect time to break out my special Super-Safe brand Parachutes." Blood Jackel said, still filling some backpacks labeled "Parachutes" in a corner with anvils, bricks and lawn gnomes.

"As much as they're Super Safe and completely trustworthy" Anna said, "We could just use the that portal over there" Anna pointed to a shimmering hole in the wall.

A hand reached out and waved at the party, motioning them to come inside. "Quickly before the Man gets here!" a voice said.

Believing the just as trustworthy voice, they all followed much to Blood Jackel's disappointment.

When the party had got to the other side their eyes had to adapt to the artificial light. they were in a carved out cavern.

"Yo rebels, we saw your sick jump that destroyed that corporate trash building. This is the cave of Rage. 500 meters below The Machine of Emerald City. we've been fighting Against them for years, but we need your help to take 'em down and prove we're the best and only Rap Metal band that should exist. UH!" As the part's eye's adjusted the extremely recognizable band of Rage Against the Machine stood in front of them.

Zach de la Rocha walked to the center of the room, turned towards the group, raged, then spoke the words “Yo, guys, what’s up…SUCKA…sorry, I can’t not say that at the end of sentences” Zach de la Rocha said more.
“Okay cool, I am feeling rushed right now for no reason so why don’t you detail your plan so we can leave…” Ghosty Ghost said in a beleaguered tone.

“Okay sure, I know you are all busy people and I’ll make sure to save this plan on a medieval memory disk so I won’t have to tell you again…and don’t worry, we aren’t robots…SUCKA” Zach de la Rocha said suspiciously…as if he were in fact a robot (but he wasn’t, I promise).
“Sweet…sooooo…any time now…yeeaaaah” Ghosty Ghost annoyed.
“Okay, so essentially we are going to overthrow the bourgeois fascist border patrol pigs who are controlling the telacommunicative hypno rays broadcast by the 24 hour news cycle perpetrated on behalf of corporate interests who own a large stake of illuminati interest groups…BY DESTROYING EVERYTHING AND MAKE’EN’EM BURN!”
“That sounds sweet, and we totally understand the first part and want to help” Blood Jackal totally truthed.
“Okay, step one is to leave the room and start burning things. Part 2 is to effect global political change through violent discourse.
“Great, we’ll take step one.” Afro angered.
“Cool…oh, and by the way…WE ARE IN FACT ROBAT REPLICAS HERE TO DESTROY YOU” Rage Against the Machine (Except for Tom Morello who was dead in both living and replica form) self destructed, dealing everyone in the party minor damage and made them sad by how much they were fooled by the Rage Delusion (Which is the name of their new album).
Just then, a hologram shot out of the corpses of RAtM (but are they really corpses if they are robots?). “Hello, if you are seeing this, you are anti-corporate scum. If you haven’t been killed by the auto-self destruct, the blast also sends out a beacon calling all guards in Emerald City to your position, so you lose anyways. Because we like taking credit for everything, this message was broadcast by Limp Bizkit, and after kidnapping the real Rage Against the Machine band (except for Tom Morello and Dave Grohl, who were dead) and holding them captive in our Bizkit Tower, we are the only remaining rap metal band, and therefore the best one in FOREVER.
“GODDAMMIT, WHY CAN’T THIS QUEST MOVE FORWARD, WE ARE GOING TO FIND DEBBIE AND GET SOMETHING DONE AFTER GOING ON A GUARD MURDER SPREE” Afro said in a calm demeanor.

Ultra Extreme Plus Blood Jackal were not pleased. They had come to Emerald City in the hopes of eliminating Limp Bizkit, the next of the Council of Six, and meeting the accountant Debby as a mysterious note had subliminized them to do, and they had achieved neither, instead being attacked by ferocious robotic bats. In addition, a resounding klaxon was going off to summon all the Emerald City guards to Ultra Extreme Plus Blood Jackal’s current position in the cave of Rage. Both of them arrived quickly.

“FREEZE criminal scum!” they barked before realizing that they were both outnumbered and outweaponed. After that, Afro quickly murdered them with one lethal swing of the Naginata of Kenkon, but brought them back to life in a plea bargain that involved them teleporting the team out of the Cave of Rage and up to Emerald City.

They found a shiny, war-ravaged city, with unbearable moans of despair echoing through the streets. “You know what they say,” Ghosty Ghost, “where’s there’s despair, there’s Linkin Park!”

“You’re right!” Anna proclaimed. “They could be the key to getting us into Bizkit Tower, since they’re fighting Limp Bizkit in this civil war.”

“Oh, I just meant something obnoxious. I use Linkin Park as an abbreviation for ‘something obnoxious’, since it pretty much fits completely. I also use the term “Anna” as an abbreviation for ‘person I’m going to murder’.”

“Speaking of despair, where are we going to find that accountant?” Orange puzzled. “We need to look somewhere that combines a large amount of money and an utter lack of soul.”

“Lack of soul? Sounds like this old man’s got a problem!” a ghostly figure uttered in a smooth, mellow voice. Ultra Extreme whirled around and saw Gil Scott Heron vandalizing TV sets in a store window. “Aww man, Gil Scott Heron is this chapter’s guest star? I was hoping for Flava Flav…”

Gil Scott Heron didn’t say another word, but he conjured up a storm of white lightning to transport he and the team to a hidden rooftop citadel. “You can find Debby in here, but beware – here is where the hatred is. I gotta leave now to write a 4 week 3 day 76 minute long protest anthem about the new leader of the Illuminati. Until next time...WHO'LL PAY REPARATIONS ON MY SOUL?????!?!??!”

After Gil souled away, the team prepared to enter Debby’s Citadel TM (as appeared engraved on the top level of the citadel in stylish blue flare).

“You go first,” Blood Jackal gulched. “It’s most dangerous in the back, and I want to protect the team.”

Sadly, Gil Scott Heron was the only person in the world able to detect Blood Jackal’s lies and he had already left.

Right before the heroes stood the tall building of Debby 's Citadel TM, but Afro noticed something. Right next to the tower there was a plot point. well actually it was a Game Stop, which was known for its crummy service and it's used disks that doesn't work.

"WAIT GUYS I REMEMBERED SOMETHING!" Afro yelled

"I remembered something too. I hate you." Ghosty Ghost said.

"Ok guys so, when i fought with the evil clone of Anna, Boatface, Dave Mustaine showed up and told me to meet Nezia at that Game Stop over there."

"i just remember i had a vision while i was saving you guys from invisible assassins." Blood Jackel said, "And then i got a vision from... God. He told me to kill the easter bunny who was spreading happiness and candy to Limp Bizkit. And i was also told they were in Debby's tower, and there was absolutely no traps or hit squads in there waiting to kill you." he completely didn't lie at all.

Anna starred at Blood Jackel as her suspense of disbelief started to shatter, "wait a moment, was any of that sarcasm?" Anna asked.

"How could you ask that!" Orange and Ghosty Ghost said as if that question insulted them. "Our friend Blood Jackel would never lie to us, thats called REAL friendship. Get some."

"Well in that case maybe we should split up into two teams, you guys should go to Debby's place and me and Afro will do important Metal Prophet things." Anna said.

Afro, although he wanted to go along with Blood Jackel because he was cool and trustworthy he was pulled along by Afro. Afro hand gestured that he would be along in a minute to Orange and Ghosty Ghost.

They saw his gestures and thought Afro had gone insane and was flailing out of desperation. Orange shrugged to Ghosty and they walked into Debby's Tower, although nothing really indicated it was Debby's Tower other then they though someone named "Debby" was in it.

Inside the Game Stop old games were stocked on the shelves they were ordered in a cluttered mess and none of the original boxes could be seen.

"Welcome Metal Prophets!" Said a familiar voice. A man stood behind the counter with brown hair and glasses, a pin on his white coat on top of his black robe which said: 'Hello my name is: Nezia' "i'm glad you could finally meet up with me, i've planned for this moment for s00oo0o0o0o0ooo long" He then began laughing in a evil way.

Ignoring Nezia's irrational laughter Afro said, "Ya well we forgot about you. We only just realized we needed to see you cuz Dave Mustaine said so" with a regretful twang, he wished he could be with Blood Jackel having fun in that tower. instead he was in some run down game shop on the job with his girlfriend.

"Well, then." Nezia said, now that he had recollected himself from his laughing fit. "Ok so now getting to the point, what's the password Lord Mustaine told you to tell me?"

Afro looked mortified and turned around to face Anna, "omg, totes forgot lol" he whispered. Anna game him a "really?" look.

"He forgot it." Anna said rolling her eyes.

"Good, good all according to plans..." Nezia said. "I mean, you were supposed to forget because Lord Mustaine knew you would forget! well now to business, you we're supposed to take me to the hospital, but there has been a change of plans. You will now handover Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt."

"What? Why do you want Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt?" Afro asked, he was completely taken back by the question.

"Trust me, Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt is essential to my plan, yes, yes..." He trailed off.

"well if you say so" Afro said sadly as he took out Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt and passed it along. but right as Nezia put one hand on Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt he realized something. In the reflection of the gamestop window Nezia's name tag read in reverse. A-I-Z-E-N it spelled out. Aizen was the man who's plan we found which lead us here. Pulling back on Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt Afro held fast not yielding the mighty dual blade over.

"You may think you've realized something, but i planned you to realize that which you just realized trust me. It was all according to plans... and you will give me Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt and then things will happen." The man said who was probably Aizen, as he took of his glasses he disappeared.

"WAIT, AIZEN! You're the man i met who gave me the drawing in the black box when Metal Prophet High was Destroyed by that flying pyramid! Were you responsible for that?!!?"

"All will be revealed, All is going according to plans...." The air seemed to whisper and then the room became completely devoid of Aizen.

"What the hell." Anna and Afro both stated in unison as they stood in the middle of the room baffled at what had just happened. Then they realized it was probably best to go find the others and tell them what's happened.

As Blood Jackal, Ghosty Ghost and Orange proceeded into the tower, which was increasingly looking as if Debby did not own it, they realized it looked much more like a mega-mall. Sadly, none of them knew what a mega-mall was, so them realizing it was pointless. Blood Jackal began to shift in his blood red shoes when he realized there weren’t any ambushes or traps set up by enemies. He wouldn’t mind waiting until later to murder them all, which was his plan (at least that is what he told his MIND!) but he had said there would be no traps, and if there really were no traps, then he would have told his enemies the truth, which is blood treason. Blood Jackal quickly said “Hey guys, I’m gonna go run up ahead and scout for Debby’s Shop, you guys cover my back in case of viper attacks”.
Blood Jackal Ran ahead and set up a tripwire that launched a soda when tripped over. Running back to the group, he told them that Debby’s shop was right around the corner, and there was nothing to worry about. After walking a few hundred yards, the ultimate trap did in fact shoot soda at Orange. What Blood Jackal failed to realize was that by combining Orange with soda granted Orange extra skill points in his detecting shop ability.

“Okay guys, Debby’s Shop IS right around the corner, thank you Blood Jackal!” Orange said with new godlike shop tracking power.
“DAMMIT…I mean, yeah, just like I said…yep” Blood Jackal smoothly retorted.

After turning the corner, they were met by an accountant’s office, which made sense since her name was Accountant Debby, and for her to not be an accountant would be a tragic twist of fate. Everyone simultaneously felt bad for alternate dimension Debby who was not an accountant, including Dave Grohl, who was dead.

They walked into the office and saw a single middle aged lady sitting at a desk in the middle of the room surrounded by papers “sinister papers…” Ghosty Ghost thought. The heroes continued to glare at her from across the room, expecting her to acknowledge them, but she continued to sit at the desk and stare blankly at the wall. The group waited for hours until Orange saw that there was a bell on her desk and a sign that said “Please ring bell or I will ignore you for eternity, if you ring bell without a purpose I will murder you and your entire family then go back in time and murder all of your ancestors…please.”

Orange rang the bell even though he had no reason to, since bells were never a bad idea to press. Upon hitting it, 5 mach-flame lava robo golems spawned around him and attacked. After killing them, the entire team pondered why a bell would be put there if its only purpose was to harm people. “Hi, and welcome to Accountant Debby’s office, I am Accountant Debby, the boss and sole worker at Accountant Debby’s discount emporium.

“Hi Debby, we felt like we had to go here…for some reason that we can’t remember…”

“Oh, are you an amazing band of heroes who go from town to town helping people for glory?”

“yes” Blood Jackal said instantly, realizing that he had to make up for all of the truths today.

“Oh great, I have a common household task I need getting done, and I can’t do it because I have a shift now and if I skip it I’ll fire myself.”
“Great, what do you need?” Orange asked intently.

“I need you to go to the bottom of the Emerald City mega-mall and fight grand dragon Triflagradon Heraxamor, and get back my cleaning supplies, since he stole them yesterday…damn dragon s and their addiction to common household cleaning supplies…”

“That sounds completely reasonable, but what is our reward?” the whole team asked in unison but with different tones.

“I will give you this umbrella…I can’t remember why I want you to have it…but I feel like I have to do it for some reason.”
“That sounds fair, we accept your quest, for the good of mankind!” Blood Jackal said.

“That sounds great, now I have some filing to do” Debby turned towards the filing cabinets behind her and began adding the trillions of papers around her into the cabinet. Blood Jackal then pulled out his 666 caliber pistol and shot her in the head, eviscerating all of the papers, and Debby, who was in fact made out of paper.

Orange and Ghosty Ghost were shocked at Blood Jackals behavior, but Blood Jackal assured them that Debby pulled a knife on him and they just didn’t notice, so it was self defense. Since neither Orange or Ghosty Ghost really cared about her life, they just took the umbrella and moved on, and couldn’t figure out why they wanted it so much. In other news, Triflagradon Heraxamor was lonely and only stole the supplies to make friends, and shed the smallest grand dragon tear.

The wheels were turning in Aizen’s plan. The umbrella had been received, the Axe-Naginata had been taken, and the satellites were beginning to align overhead. He knew it couldn’t be too long before the master plan was executed.

Meanwhile, Ghosty Ghost, Orange and Blood Jackal were leaving the citadel. However, Blood Jackal was running out of patience faster than a hospital full of murderous surgeons. He had failed at his goal of stealing the Clockification Ray and taking over the world. He had failed at his Illuminati mission of avenging Jerome’s death by killing Ghosty Ghost. He HAD succeeded at murdering a lot of people, most recently Debby, but the deaths were meaningless without a greater mission. He knew he had to act fast, or the Illuminati might not renew his contract (and a mercenary without a contract is just some crazy hobo with a gun).

As they were climbing down the stairs out of Debby’s citadel, Blood Jackal exclaimed “Hey, look over there! It’s me not trying to distract you!” then pulled out a scimitar and attempted to stab Orange in the heart. Unfortunately, years of Poptarts had built up a thick pastry crust around each of Orange’s vital organs, and the blade merely stuck in his chest, as smore filling began to ooze out around its edges.

“Blood Jackal!” exclaimed Orange. “You’re the most honest, noble person we’ve ever met! Why would you stab me?”

“Well, I thought your heart had been replaced with an evil mecha-spider-heart (Microsoft patent pending). I was just trying to help.”

At that moment, a genuine evil mecha-spider was creeping stalkily up behind Ghosty, Orange, and Blood Jackal. Only Ghosty Ghost saw it, but he decided to focus his attention on thinking about under what circumstances Jello Biafra could commit a non-ironic act and ignore the boring spider. Orange was preoccupied trying to get the scimitar out of his chest, and then trying to lick the filling off it without slicing his tongue in half, so Blood Jackal was left alone to fight the horrible arachnofiend.

He pulled out a medieval magnum and attempted to cap the spider, but he missed. The spider lurched forward, attempting to devour Orange, but Orange, flailing the scimitar around wildly, managed to cut off two of the legs of the mecha-spider. It squealed in pain, but leapt towards Blood Jackal. Blood Jackal put up a valiant defense, but he was no match for the hungry mecha-spider, and it consumed him, as Ghosty Ghost came to his final conclusion (none possible) and Orange finished extracting the last tasty chocolate goo from the tip of the blade.

Blood Jackal’s last words were “I’m not dead! I’ve always been on your side!”
“Well, he died as he lived…” mourned Orange. “Telling the truth, without exception.”

Ghosty Ghost used his advanced animal handling skills (+15!) and was thus able to turn the robotic death machine into a friendly pet. Orange decided to name him Blood Spider in memory of Blood Jackal and Ghosty Ghost decided to name him Coolio McApathy the Amazing Death Spider, in memory of when he used to be alive and actually cared about things.

“Value town!”

Afro and Anna then decided to show up, now with 100% less Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt.

"Some guy named Aizen stole Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt and then left. What happend over here?" Afro asked.

"Blood Jackel died, it was all your fault. And Orange got stabbed, that too was all your fault. And i also want to remember you murdered me, which was all your fault. i hope you feel bad." Ghosty said.

"Ok so now that i'm better, what should we do?" Orange asked, "i mean, you met that guy at Game Stop and Blood Jackel, Rest his soul, killed Debby."

They all contemplated what they would do and since no one came up with anything better. They decided to find a local store and have dinner since it was getting late. and since they were still in a mega-mall they might as well get something that wasn't pop-tarts

"Wow so i think this is the first time we have eaten something other then Pop-tarts for sustenance," Orange said halfway through a mouthful of pizza (the next healthiest food)

"Ok so what are we going to do now" Afro asked. "Without Kenkon, the Axe-Naginata of Egypt i cant really kill things effectively. So im going to need a new guitar. Also without our trusty fifth member, we're pretty weak since were all still mourning the death of our best friend, Blood Jackel who would have never betrayed us like Briefcase man did."

"So does that mean we have to put this quest to kill Limp Bizkit while we're down a member and you're without a weapon?" Anna asked before she bit into a slice of pizza

"Augh, are we really going to have a to do this?" Orange asked. "i mean is there any better way to deal with this rather then do some training ark, because those were always the worst."

"How about you just realize where we are right now." Ghosty said while he was eating a slice of ghost pizza, this might have counted as cannibalism but he was not worried right now because it was revenge flavor.

"What do you mean?" Orange asked.

"I know! we're in a mega-mall we could go hire someone to quest with and visit the local Guitar Center to pick up something for Afro."

"Right in that case, i'm going to go with Afro this time" Orange said. "People always die when i'm around with Ghosty."

So it was decided Orange, Afro and Coolio McApathy would go to Guitar Center, and Ghosty and Anna would go find someone to hire so they could finally leave Emerald City. As the hero's departed they wondered why the city was even called Emerald City because to date nothing had even been Emerald.

Coolio McApathy the Death Spider ironically died while walking with Afro and Orange to the guitar store of yper cancer, since every animal dies of yper cancer when too far away from their trainer for too long. Afro and Orange didn’t notice ...because he didn’t actually contribute to the team and had no actual reason to be there...kinda like Orange and Ghosty Ghost.

Back at the “finding a new teammate montage” Ghosty Ghost was switching off between insulting Anna and making passive aggressive statements, concluding with “It would be REALLY nice to get a useful teammate, that would be LOVELY, oh and really and lovely were capitalized in that sentence if someone like YOU couldn’t TELL, oh, and just to let you kno-”

“Shouldn’t we be finding teammates right now?” Anna bemoaned.

“Shouldn’t you be killing yourself right now?”

“Anyways, let’s bring in our first candidate, since you aren’t being helpful...rightnowbringinthenextpersonplease” Anna shouted really fast before Ghosty Ghost could turn her sentence into an insult.

“Hi, I’m heart attack man and BLARGHPJGFSOIHJSGOJ” Heart Attack Man then collapsed on the floor and died.

“hmmmm, next” Anna said passive aggressively, getting infected by Ghosty Ghost’s sarcasm rays.

The next person entered the room, wearing a white jacket and goggles and had huge shoes that said TOTALLY on them. “Oh, yeah, I would totally help you guys fight evil and rid the world of bad artists, that sounds completely reasonable to me” The man said.

“Really?” Anna said happily, hoping that she wouldn’t have to review more losers. “What is your name?”

“Psh, because Sarcasm Man would totally want to tell you his name” Sarcasm Man said.

“GODDAMNIT! NEXT!”

The third entrant from the long line of applicants (who all came from the “unemployed mercenary office”, which was in fact employed by mercenaries”), was a puppy, and not even a vicious puppy, but a friendly one wearing a bow on his back and little boots as if his owner thought he was an actual person. After weighing the benefits of having a teammate without serious emotional trauma or desire to get paid, Anna ultimately determined puppies don’t help teams unless they are playing medieval basketball.

After 10 more applicants with the name Toxic X in a row, a man entered with a huge head of brown hair, a black leather sparkly vest with red undershirt, and really really tight pants. Anna was getting ready to shut down the stage and give up when he shouted “DON’T SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS! I’m afraid of the daaaark!” which he said in a British accent...it was Mick Jagger in the form of: An Actor! Ghosty Ghost unilaterally decided to add him to the team, mostly because his sense of fashion was so outdated that he fit the medieval time period better than everyone else.

Ghosty said “You got the job!” and Mick Jagger jumped for joy in slow motion, and then the room faded to black and he got scared and jumped out the window.

After a short, scenic walk, Afro and Orange arrived at the local outlet of Axe Me a Question, the continent’s most prevalent guitar center chain. The doors were boarded up and chains were hung across the windows.

“Are they closed?” asked Orange.

Afro picked up a convenient placed cinder block and hurled it at the window of the store. “NOT ANYMORE!” he yelled, ignoring the fact that the block had bounced off the sturdy megaplastic window. All this yelling and block hurling drew the guitar store owner’s attention, and he came scuttling out of the back. He was an old man with a cane, an inexplicable white mohawk of hair, and a permanent sneer.

“What are all you hoodlums doin’ outside my house?”

“This isn’t your house,” denoted Orange. “It’s a guitar store.”

“Not anymore, sonny!” cackled Steve Gorgon, the old man. “You must be lookin’ at a map of the EAST super-mega-mall. This is the west super-mega-mall, which Linkin Park converted into affordable housing as part of their urban renewal project.”

“Damn Linkin Park and what they’ve done!” bellowed Afro. “Well, are there any leftover guitars left in your house?”

“Well, I chopped most o’ them up and used ‘em for firewood kindling, so I reckon not. But you can come on and take a gander for yourselves.”

“Free geese?” Orange asked. The old man gave him a withering stare, and the three proceeded into the store. As soon as they entered, the door mysteriously shut and locked behind them, and the old man laughed maniacally as he pulled out a machete.

“HAEEEAHAHAHAHAHA! I am actually ny Rotten, pretending to be an old man to lure travelers to their death! This cane is actually the tibia of one of my victims, and this white hair is just spray paint! Time to die…and I mean it, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“

This went on for five minutes, over the course of which Afro and Orange were able to search the former shop and find some spare guitars to use as weapons. Orange had taken lessons from Dave Grohl while they were bored during one of the seventeen times Dave Grohl had been part of Ultra Extreme, so he could now play two chords.

ny Rotten finally concluded “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” and came running towards Orange and Afro, wielding his pseudocane. Afro launched into a face-melting guitar solo while Orange distracted ny Rotten with a barrage of various picks and strings that he had scavenged. However, the solo seemed to have no effect, and ny Rotten came closer and closer, revealing that the tibia had an additional sharp knife blade added to its tip.

“I know!” exclaimed Afro. “Orange, play one chord really loudly! Now!”

It was time for Orange to put Dave Grohl’s finest knowledge to use. He picked up his guitar, and played one chord. Then he played it again, and again, growing louder and louder, without any sense of rhythm, as Afro did the same with a dissonant chord. ny Rotten approached closer, seemingly impervious to the sonic assault, and he was one tibia-swing away from Afro when he suddenly collapsed.

“Enough,” he proclaimed. “You have shown that you are more punk than I am worthy of. I want you to have this,” and handed them a bloodstained sickle shaped badge. “With this, you can control bands of up to level 50 on the rock power scale (RPS). And I want you to have this too,” giving them a strange device. “You can use this to teach your guitar player Flame Attack!”

“Flame Attack? AWW YEAH!” exclaimed Orange, grabbing it.

“But you’re not the gu-“ Afro conceded the argument. The important thing was, they had defeated ny Rotten. He also gave them guitars to take with them, and wished them a fond farewell, though Afro set him on fire anyway as they left (56 on the MMS).

“Why’d you do that?” asked Orange.
“Simple, I could tell he was actually a cyborg by scanning him with my metal vision; and it’s better to burn out than it is to rust.”

Afro and Orange soon realized they had no idea where they were in the mall anymore. conceding to Orange's "common" sense they decided to ask the local "you are here" map about where they currently were. but before they could locate their postion Afro got in an argument with the map and destroyed it, this unfortunately killed all maps in the mall because they were all communists and decided they all had to be the same.

"Great what now?" Orange stated/asked/determined

"SKREW YOU I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" Afro Stated/denied/lied

"And what is that exactly" Orange Respond/didn't expect a good answer.

"We're going to defeat this city because it lied to us because it wasn't really emerald. And then we're going to Kill those guys who are going to be dead."

"without destroying the city (which would kill us in the process because were in it) how do you intend to do this" Orange pointed at the flaw with his truth

After mulling what Orange had said over in his head and realized his plan made about as much sense as Aizen's he yelled "YOU LIE!!!" and then decided he could better spend his time finding out which of the guitars he was given was the most metal (and therefor most worthy to be played).

Orange who was on a more productive chain of thought decided to stop into the Dave and Adam's Card World, the well known emporium of all things Card related. inside the shop the walls were lined with Cards of all sorts types and shapes.

"WAHHHY GO HOME, When you can be here" Said Wacky Crazzy Dave who half owned the shop.

"Umm, do you have any of thoes real-life cards like, you know the good ones that do stuff in real life?"

"YuDiOH HO Di Do" Said Dave "Crous Ard DOOO ME MAAAA-TEEEEE"

"WTF?" Orange said aloud as he thought "WTF?" in his mind

Afro, who had now de-assembled four Jackson V guitars and two Gibson SG and put them all together into some hybrid. He walked in proudly with it slung across his back.

"HERE LOOK AT THIS!" Afro Proclaimed as he introduced his new frankenstein-esc guitar. "I Will call it The Gib-Jack VSG!" he pro-pro-claimed. The guitar was half covered in duck tape. the detail seemed to have been chipped from a Kelly King custom Jackson. and overall it seemed like it was about to fall apart. Orange also noticed it was a 29 string guitar (but most of the string were hanging off the guitar, unstrung and flailing around in the air.

"HO-HGODiNonze I'M STILL HERE! ! ! Hello! THeirir!" Crazy dave said who had a heart attack and died. then his body was consumed by grade 34 yper cancer which devoured his body. Although he died Orange swore that he would be forgotten and never remembered except one flow chart that would eventually be done. which at that point it will be revealed that Crazy Dave was also Chair's older brother. But until then no one cared.

"Good thing he died next to the cards that do things in real life! WAHOO!" Afro said while picking up a random card. " HEY LOOK ITS METALMORHP!!! i remember that being used on Red-Eyes Black Dragon, the vastly weaker version of blue-eyes White Dragon.... which means it COULD BE USED ON MY GUITAR BECAUSE IT HAS A BLACK DRAGON ON IT!!!"

"no it doesn't." Orange rained on Afro who un-rained on himself by flipping over the guitar onto its back revealing a black dragon vinyl in a obscure corner of the guitar. Orange face palmed and waved Afro to just do what he is going to do and get over with it so the plot can actually get somewhere.

"I SUMMON THE DOOM AND DEATH UPON THIS GIB-JACK VSG BRINGING THE METAL OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN of METAL!" 'TAKE THIS' was said by Afro who said the sentence previous to it. He threw the Metalmorph card on the disfigured guiar. The guitar suddenly burst into flames and began melting and condensing itself into somehting far far more (but in reality about just as) metal Kenkon, The Axe-Naginata of Egypt.

The cobalt blue detail on the guitar revealed itself first, the guitar's dragon had Blue eyes but the body of the guitar was black. "I DUB THEE BLUE-EYES BLACK DRAGON, THE NORTH EASTER FROM HELL"

Meanwhile Ghosty's stupid name sense tingled and he thought "Stupid name, kill yourself." to that name, he hoped he never had to deal with someone who would name a guitar that. Then realized it was most likely Afro. Ghosty then rage quit his stupid name sense and hoped he never had to deal with it and its power of spoilers.

Double Meanwhile. All according tho plans

Triple Meanwhile. Anna and Ghosty left a room Double Crossed.

Quadruple Meanwhile. Orange decided to pick up the remaining four cards on the ground. Triple Crossed.

"Here look at these Afro!" Orange said as he picked up a face down man eater bug who killed Adam from Dave and Adam's Card world place thing. the other three cards were Scape Goat, Monster Reborn and a Polerymization. Sadly the Monster Reborn had some reminder text which says "doesn't work on Dave Grohl, because he's dead."

"Awww," Afro and Orange groaned in unison.

Somewhere else Anna said "Hello Ghosty" as her one token comment for this segment. Ghosty ignored her.

Afro and Orange were walking around in the mall when they suddenly saw Anna, Ghosty ghost and Mick Jagger, who felt like he was forgotten for some reason. Once they met up they promised to never split up again, because it just resulted in tons of waisted time in which everyone had wacky hijinks instead of doing something relevant.

When they were through with this line of thought they left the mega-mall since it didn’t actually matter and no one was sure why they were there to begin with, but Mick Jagger was happy because he finally had friends (the power of friendship was also his most powerful spell).

“Oh snap, why are we leavin’ that sick mall yo? That was mad cool!” Orange sad as if he was some sort of bad rapper trying to act like he was tough when he was in fact part of some corporate created monstrosity designed purely to get money out of pre-teen losers who thought swearing and juvenile lyrics made one cool…like that.

“Hey wait a minute, that rap spirit got exercised out of you after that cardio workout we gave you!” Afro said in bewildered shock.
“Hey, it’s all cool yo, lets hizzy all down to the ghetto where I live and cook some mad beats with my homies!” Orange said as he turned his baseball cap he was wearing backwards.

“Wait a minute! You don’t have any friends!” Ghosty Ghost proclaimed “You must be an imposter!”

“I’m his friend!” Mick Jagger said but everyone ignored his heart rays.
Just then Orange exploded, revealing the husk of a giant robat in his place. “You may have outsmarted my robat army, but you’ll never make it through Bizkit Tower! Which is right in front of you, and you should totally not enter it! For you shall lose to the variously arrayed traps and trick battles we have set up, including one gimmick battle involving at least 3 different versions of clones and zombies!”

“What up daaaaaaaaaaaaawgs?” Orange said as he walked up to the group from behind. “I got distracted looking at a vending machine that said “Max poptart” on it”

“Oh, they replaced you with a robat while you were gone” Everyone said except Mick Jagger and Dave Grohl, who were respectively on drugs and dead.

“Did I say anything ironic or drop mad beats?”
Everyone stared at Orange really really hard. “Anyways, we’ll defeat you, save justice, etc” Ghosty Ghost said to the robat clone sent by Limp Bizkit.

“I’m just glad that we’re all together again!” Mick Jagger than drew a circle on all of their hands with a permanent super marker, which even worked on Ghosty Ghost, which symbolized friendship” Everyone redirected their hatred towards Mick Jagger, who was too busy being afraid of the dark to notice.

The robat realized it was outnumbered and that it was only designed to be a Class VI Spy Message-Bot, so it activated its wings and flew back to Bizkit Tower.

“I guess we better shake it on over to that hizzouse!” proclaimed Orange, still showing suspicious signs that the antidote hadn’t taken. Just then, the team heard a loud roar coming from behind them. They turned and saw the army of Linkin Park approaching, led by General Bennington.

“Halt! If you take one step closer, you will be broken by our artillery!”

“YOU THINK YOU CAN CHALLENGE BLUE EYES BLACK DRAGON?” ROARED AFRO.

“Your dragon won’t be crawling in his skin when I’m done with him, because he won’t have any. His wounds will NEVER HEAL!”

“Hold on a minute,” interspersed Anna. “We both want to destroy Limp Bizkit. Why are we fighting?”

“Because Linkin Park sucks,” Ghosty Ghost pointed out.

“Good point,” Anna acknowledged. “But let’s at least try to let them fight each other first so we have less to deal with.”

“FIIINE.” And thus a pact of justice was forged between Afro and Bennington to set aside their differences long enough to mutilate Fred Durst. The plan was for Linkin Park’s force to break in through the back entrance and take Limp Bizkit by surprise, while Ultra Extreme used their well-honed arbitrary dungeon skills to fight through the main entrance and create a diversion.

Throughout this argument, Mick Jagger was occupied obtaining cocaine. He returned to the party with a vacant smile and a heartbeat audible from three feet away. Finally, the team entered the long awaited Bizkit Tower, ominously dreading whatever horrors lay inside…

The moment the door creakily swung open, a horrid scent engulfed the team. They walked in, and found themselves in a large cavernous room, with pods hanging from all the walls.

“This must be where he keeps his army of robats!” cried Orange. “It’s just like that medieval movie!”

“I have a great plan, guys,” said Anna. “First, me and Ghosty Ghost sneak around back to infiltrate the next level of the tower and take down any resistance we encounter. While we do that, Afro and Orange figure out a way to destroy all the robat pods and crush Durst’s forces. And while we’re putting all this into place, Mick Jagger will die of an overdose.”

It sounded like a brilliant plan (though they had low standards of brilliance, considering the usual plans put forth by the group consisted of “swing large metal objects at everything that moves until it stops” (Afro) “eat Poptarts and hope the plan solves itself” (Orange) “kill yourself” (Ghosty Ghost) or “mmmmamaaaaaaayyyay” (Mick Jagger, intoxicated) ). They were about to put it into action when they felt a vague existential sense of dread that if they split up, they would all die of yper cancer.

“Oh well,” said Orange. “Guess we’re goin’ with the Poptart plan.” He loitered against the wall and got out a Pineapple Salmon special (discontinued after 99.9% of the test market expressed strong disapproval of the flavor and 40.7% of the test market murdered the employee who gave them the tart).

Bored, Afro began to wander the room swinging his guitar to cut down the robat pods one by one and then smashing them with a Clash-like motion once they were on the ground. He was able to knock down the first row this way, but the pods soon grew out of reach and the remaining active ones began to glow with a green light. Suddenly, hundreds of robats burst from the pods to the klaxon-like sounds of Break Stuff. The team was surrounded by horde upon horde of robat, the army seeming to never end.

“Dammit!” yelled Orange. “This is just like assassins all over again!” (referring to the stage of his life when he had been on the run from multiple conspiracies, who each wanted him hostage for his parents’ work and who each hired mercenaries from the same cartel of expedited death businesses)

“Don’t worry!” Anna exclaimed. “They forgot about my bat repellant beam!” she pulled out a small, never before seen tube which fired a glowing grey blast into the sky, forcing all the robats back.

Then Mick Jagger summoned an inferno which shattered them all.
“Why didn’t you do that in the first place?”
“I was getting my eyes adjusted. I’m afraid of the dark.”

The newly charred room had the pleasant spell of burnt flesh and flaming oil that emanated from the burnt and flaming bodies of the robats. So now that the defeated room was defeated, the heroes could face their next challenge in the next room, an Elevator that only goes to the top floor, which is where Limp Bizkit can only exist because even the air outside recognized them as sellouts and tries to kill them. so they learned to breathe by breaking things instead. Any ways, the real next challenge was the Elevator (which was imported directly from the good Mass Effect (hint: the first one))

"So guys... do you remember that time i burned down Orange's temple and killed all his family and friends?" afro started the conversation after an awkward silence

Orange who had repressed that information then remembered that scene. like burnt pop tarts, that memory would never taste good.

"Why am i part of this party again?" Orange asked

"Something to do with... nvm you have no reason. Same with Ghosty."

"You may not remember this but you killed me, and if you did forget that i let me remind you that i hate you and i will torment you till you die." Ghosty Ghost said

"What nice friends you have Afro" Anna said.

a silence formed but then Afro ruined it when he yelled:

"You know what we should make a band!" he yellllled. "I've got it, i can play guitar! Orange can be the drummer, Anna will be the bassist... and Ghosty Ghost will................... Sing..."

"Only if it could be called: Parsley Effect." Ghosty stated

"Why?" Afro quizziaphliosophised

"Because it has a random noun and then some cool word after it. Ergo its cool like mono white control."

"Maybe we should discuss this latar dawg, i think we're almost there." Orange said

"No look at the loading bar, its only halfway." Anna said as the rest of the loading bar skipped to 100%

*Ding Ding* the elevator chimed in defeat. Now both of Limp Bizkits guards were defeated and the plot had been advanced.

The heroes (who may or may not act like villains 90% of the time) walked into the room of broken stuff where Limp Bizkit resided. The sellout band were in the middle of the room sitting on three different broken couches. the spherical room used to have many windows, but they all were shattered.Fred Durst was in the middle of the room, he busted up a expensive looking painting on his knee, noticed the party and yelled "Welcome! To DIE!!!!!"

Limp Bizkit killed and raped the corpse of a puppy in front of the group, establishing the moral standing of said band. Afro said “You monster, we would never do the second part of that vile act!” in a foux-heroic tone. A man with a skeleton mask sat in the corner of the room staring and playing a single baseline over and over and over and over and over. The annoying note drove Afro to insanity, and caused his rage meter to reach infinity, which granted him the power of speed boots.

“Sweet boots yo!” Fred Durst and Orange said simultaneously (Ghosty Ghost also said it, but in an ironic way). “Sadly, you must die so we can take yo boots and BREAK’EM and STUFF!”

“No you will be the one losing!” Anna said, and everyone in the group realized she sucked at trash talking. “And word to your mother, who was a whore”

“I’m Gonna BRAKE YO FACE TONIGHT!” Fred Durst pulled out a chainsaw and started charging at Anna with juvenile rage (a category 3 rage form). Anna avoided the opening charge, but Durst used his secondary ability printed on the chainsaw in ancient Egyptian text, to hit anyone that dodged his attacks. Anna was chainsawed in half and looked as dead as Dave Grohl, who was dead.

“NOOOOO, My love interest!” Afro bemoaned (Ghosty Ghost also said this, but in an ironic way). “Rage boots, engage hyper burn mode!” Hyper burn mode was then engaged, and the boots became on fire. Contrary to popular belief, boots on fire don’t actually make you go faster, but instead burn you. “AAAUUUGH, MY FEET ARE ON FIRE BLARGHOKSDJFOHG” Afro then jumped to the ground screaming about said feet being on fire a few more times.

“Two down YO, next person to BREAK!” Durst charged Ghosty Ghost, who was a Ghost, so the chainsaw didn’t work. Ghosty Ghost started to wonder why he ever actually cared in these battles, since most of the time he didn’t face any danger. Ghosty Ghost fired a distraction laser at the wall behind Fred Durst. “OOH PRETTY COLORS!”.

“Okay guys, we need a gameplan!” Orange said like an actual person who cared.

“First step is to look indifferently at them!” Ghosty Ghost said with glee, as this was his favorite activity after making snide remarks about people’s intelligence.

“Step two should probably be to help Orange get his feet off of fire!”

“Alright, that just leaves step four of actually kill the enemy” Everyone still fighting, which was just two people agreed to this course of action.

They then decided to create a planning convention in the room, send delegated to draft up the plan, then get a majority of votes among those present to vote the plan into law so they could pass it.

“GIMME SOMETHING TO BREAK!” Durst realized the pretty colors were in fact unbreakable, so he finally had turned around.

“Uh-oh, looks like we got a problem!” Ghosty Ghost and Orange said in unison.

“AND IT’S A BAD ONE!” A figure in the dark spoke out.

It was…Briefcase Man!

“GASP!” the heroes collectively gasped.

“I thought I had dealt with you back at the bank, but you had to go and get sucked into a time portal, didn’t you? Well, I wasted all my money on new briefcases, vulture food, and a brief but expensive addiction to medieval heroin, and now I’m reduced to driving a non-gold-plated tank and taking on small jobs for pathetic sellout pieces of crap like Limp Bizkit!”

“Could we pay you to kill them instead?” offered Orange.

“Nice try. That might work on someone who didn’t know your pathetic little crew, but I know that not one of your missions has actually gotten you paid! You’ve got nothing! And besides – this isn’t about making money…this is about liquidating my debts to the past. You took away my tank driving privileges. THOSE WERE MY ONLY REASON TO LIVE! NOW YOU WILL DIE!”

Briefcase Man pulled out a gold plated Magnum, the only remnant of his brief life of excess. “Remember when I said I’d kill you first, Orange? I was telling the truth.” He fired right as Afro stumbled into him, still struggling with a burning leg. The shot went wild and killed Limp Bizkit’s bassist. No one went to his funeral.

“Damnit!” howled Briefcase Man. “My ornamental but impractical gun needs to reload after every shot!”

Meanwhile, behind them, Durst continued to thrash wildly with his chainsaw, chopping up the remains of Anna, the walls of Bizkit tower, and the guitarist for Limp Bizkit. One person went to his funeral, to see if there was free cake.

It was a moment of opportunity for Orange. For months of their travels, he had done little relevant, and in fact frequently impeded the team. Now, in the hour of crisis, it was his time to shine. “Briefcase Man!” he announced dramatically. “It may be nighttime, but rust never sleeps!” and he threw a giant balloon filled with hyper-water at the gun, rusting it almost instantly and jamming its gears. Then he turned around. “This will take both of my musical powers!”

He channeled the spirit of the folk singer demon that had taken him over in the past and played a soft, acoustic melody on the guitar he’d stolen from the shop in the mall to sooth Durst into a false sense of security. Then he channeled the rap demon and entered break dance mode, spinning around wildly before a well placed kick sent the chainsaw flying out of Durst’s hands and decapitating the drummer of Limp Bizkit. Five hundred people went to his funeral, but they all thought it was Bartlebee Saxenburg’s funeral, and they left as soon as the name was announced.

All that remained of Limp Bizkit were Fred Durst and DJ Lethal, but the team knew this wasn’t going to be easy. They still had Briefcase Man to deal with, and Afro couldn’t walk. Luckily, they would have some help from a mysterious ally…

Meanwhile, in a far off mountain spire, the members of the Council of Six who weren’t dead or about to be killed (Green Day, AC/DC, and KISS) had prepared the ultimate plot. First, they would attain widespread popularity, spreading generic, sucky music throughout the brainwaves of the masses. This step was complete. Second, they would create the ultimate superband, through kidnapping, bribery, and necromancy. Third, they would unleash this band, who would destroy everyone who was unprepared for the sheer quality of the music. This would give them leverage to demand and receive ultimate power.

Unbeknownst to the Council, the Illuminati knew about this plan and allowed it, as it would give them a chance to strengthen their already solid control of the world. There would be no risk involved in allowing the Council to begin their machinations, as Green Day’s bassist was an Illuminati plant.

Unbeknownst to the Illuminati, Aizen knew about their plan and approved, for reasons unknown…

Double meanwhile when the camera panned back to the the epic battle of the ages. Ghosty had convinced DJ Lethal to jump off of a medieval TV out of a window. he managed to make him do this by telling the manic depressive DJ that he would have earned his respect if he could prove himself as a parkor master. Afro, during this time, had also realized that shoes that were on fire were still shoes and therefor could be taken off. In this moment of revelation it also occurred to him that his girlfriend was as dead as David Grohl, who was still and will always be dead, and that that murdering as many people (or birds) was just about the only way to ease the pain of the death of the only person that he would ever love. Which doesn't include things like money, his guitar, and booze. Which he also loved. In this way Afro did the only thing he could do, which was to curl up into a ball, drink heavily. And hold his onto his guitar with all of his three remaining dollars and his fifty one cents he had left in his pockets.

P.S. DJ Lethal didn't have a funeral.

Orange who had suddenly become both relevant and important to the plot and the battle realized he was now in charge since Afro was out of commission. He felt empowered by the sparkely leadership aura that flowed into him. then realized it was just Briefcase Man's bird who was floating above him with a suitcase full of glitter.

"You may have killed DJ kill-suck, but your whole team was lost in that trade!!!" Briefcase Man yelled.

"You didn't kill our whole team..." Orange started then realized that Afro had done %95 of all work so far, Anna had done %4.9999999. which meant he and Ghosty Ghost had done just about %.0000001 while Briefcase Man was still on the team. actually come to think of it Briefcase man had done more for the team while he was on it... 'Damn.' Orange thought, but then he realized he had the element of surprise since he had done almost nothing (until about 2 minutes ago) He probably wasn't expecting anything.

"TAKE THIS" Orange yelled. as he threw his last pop tart, which happened to be a rare limited edition toxic radiation flavor.

Briefcase Man stepped out side of the trajectory of it and the pop-projectile whizzed past destroying the Mass Effect elevator. "Hahahaha, you can not defeat me! i know all your moves!"""""""""""""""""""" said him and his quotes.

*BONK* Breifcase Man collapsed on the floor and his last vulture did too since they were psy-linked but the vulture fell on a broken char with all the nails sticking up and died a horrible painful grusome death. The ASPCA (which probably stands for something about saving animals) was later notified and put up a bounty on Ghosty Ghost for $5,000 Alive (since they actually could not print "alive or dead" on the sign because he already was.)

"No u don't." Ghosty said as he stood behind him with a frying pan taped to a baseball bat. "didn't see that sucka! Now ur BLIND!!!" although he wasn't really.

"How can you hold that Ghosty?" Orange posed.

"with my hands." Ghosty Ghost stated.

Afro during that moment decided it was extremely anti-productive to mope around in the fetal position and stood up. Seeing Ghosty with a bat-pan in his hand an idea struck him like a chainsaw. in fact it was a chainsaw going through his head currently. ow. Durst is the Worst he thought as his Hypothalamus got its first breath of fresh air.

Orange and Ghosty looked back to see Afro who had lost his head (get it?). The cut sliced him vertically entering through the top of the head and exited though his left hip. "Ow." they both thought in unison.

Fred durst then yelled "BLARGLLARGL" then put a pumpkin over his head and hid behind a corner they had to go past to check up on Afro. Who was most likely dead.

Where was i.... Afro thought. He looked down and saw his body lying on the ground he noted the huge gash running through his body. "well thats what you call a splitting headache..." he joked. with no one in particular. So am i a ghost Afro posed. he backstroked over to Ghosty who was talking to Orange

"Hey remember that time we promised if we ever split up again we would die" Orange noted. "well he did just split up and he's dead, what a coincidence!"

"YO GHOSTY U THEIRRRR" Afro shouted if a ghost could shout. Unfortunately he wasn't taking messages through interstellar ghost communication rays right now because he was in a fight. "Figures... But wait if im dead, and Anna's dead is she here!?!!" He looked around and saw her waving from her body. Afro swan dived to right next to her.

"What up Woman! we're DEADDDDDDDD" Afro said.

"Well at least we're together... forever now. that makes two times now" Anna stated.

"Wait we'er married?!?!??!!?"

"Ya you were drunk and stuff happened, get over it. i'll email you the photos i mean they've been on Medieval Face Book for like ever. Get with the Medieval times."

"So what now?" Afro quizzicaled.

"YES INDEED, 'what now.'" Said a very Grohl voice.

"Wait weren't you dead..." Afro and Anna said in unison before they both realized they were both dead as well, in fact they were both so dead they could talk to the dead, dead, dead man.

"ya well Aizen told me to come here to say 'just use that monster reborn card you picked up something like four hours ago.'"

"oh wow stupid us, how's Aizen doing then? still got my Kenkon the Axe-Naginata of Egypt?"

"Ya he's going to like take over the world or something IDC lol, he said something about a girl too. ya good luck or whatever, i have to go play in the Gratefully Dead Dead as a session drummer, bye."then Grohl disappeared.

"Ya whatever lets finish this." Afro used the Magical Monster Reborn card targeting himself and Anna.

As Afro woke up from being dead he reached for his guitar, got up and stuck it two feet deep through Durst's gut, swung him around in the wind (until november) and threw him out a window.

Since almost everyone did something in that fight (except for anna who died but was later brought back) Blizzard decided to both buff the next boss and also give each player character enough extra Experience to level up. Everyone was happy until Linkin Park bust through the window.

"SHIT JUST GOT REAL" they yelled as they assembled for a battle that was already fought.

“Aww man, we always show up to the party late!” Linkin Park moaned as they began to cut their wrists in unison. “We were totally gonna kill Limp Bizkit and be the only rap metal band left, then we would finally be the best at something…though at least the last part is true…but I’m still sad” Chester Bennington stated then began to cut himself again when he realized how lame his name was. “As the final rap-metal band I-“

“DON’T THINK SO, SUCKA” A voice shouted from a locked door that was unable to be opened. Orange then found a mystical scarab on the ground, which opened said door. Zack de la Rocha stepped through the door with an angry face painted on his angry face.

“oh yeeeeaaaahhh, remember when the robats told us that Rage Against the Machine was imprisoned and we had to save them…good times…” Expositioned Mick Jagger, who probably wasn’t there at the time, but wanted to feel like he was part of the group.

“For Tom Morelloooooooooo” Zack de la Rocha shouted as he jumped and glided and soared through the air at Linkin Park, who had absolutely nothing to do with both Tom Morello’s death or his imprisonment. “FEEL THE FUNK BLAST!” Zack then revealed a massive stereo system strapped to his chest, which exploded in pure distortion right on top of Linkin Park and their army. The entire tower, Zack and Linkin Park were disintegrated in the blast, and the intrepid heroes got flung several hundred yards through the air out of the tower, but landed on a cloud, so they survived, except for Dave Grohl, who was now verified as dead. Everyone on the planet went to Zack de la Rocha’s funeral, even though they couldn’t find the body, and all his will said was “Burn, yeah you gonna burn”.

Back on cloud #7, the heroes were trying to devise a way to get to the ground without falling several thousand feet to their deaths. Ghosty Ghost wouldn’t die, but he forgot he could fly again. They all pondered with their immensely small intellects about what to do until Mick Jagger got an idea. “Hey guys, what if I used my medieval airplane to get us out of here?” Everyone looked very annoyed at Mick Jagger, both because he had a plane and because he didn’t think of that before. “Yeah, I got it when I reunited with my band for the seventh time and got that movie deal…that was a good year for money and drugs…” Mick Jagger then drifted off into a haze until everyone snapped him out of it.

Mick Jagger then pulled a small metal keychain from his pocket and threw it to the cloud, it then transformed into a giant airplane, hovering in mid air. “Hey, I blew up a plane like this once!” Ghosty Ghost proclaimed with enthusiasm.

Everyone boarded the plane and shouted “Next stop, whatever the mission is!” The plane then flew off into the sun set and burst into flames and crashed on a house, killing a family of wealthy bankers.